"But Wisdom is Justified of All Her Children."

Recently, I have seen some pretty crazy arguments swirling around in my online social circles. Vaccines, leggings, gun rights, sleep training, the definition of pornography, sidewalk harassment, the eyebrows of a girl featured on a popular T.V. show, you name it - and through it all I have seen a lot of nastiness pouring out. This is happening amongst a set of people who, for the most part, at least partially subscribe to a Christian belief system and set of values. Some of the nasty is getting passed off as humor. Some of it is getting passed off as holier-than-thou/more-intelligent-than-thou. A lot of it is rooted in false assumptions - assumptions that someone is judging you because they a different standard, or is ignorant/evil for not having your standard, or that being funny or being in the majority can justify being mean to someone else. And most of it is fairly hypocritical (which is not necessarily invalidating - it's what it means to be human and to have higher values than we can live up to all the time - but isn't a badge of honor either). The irony is that those of us who tell others to follow Christ's example and not judge, often aren't very good at following Christ's example of kindness and love in the way we do it; and those of us who tell others to accept decisions we make in our efforts to follow Christ aren't very good at following His admonitions about judging.


Now, I am an overly-sensitive soul. TOO sensitive. I have been known to cry when someone says something mean to someone else and it has absolutely nothing to do with me. News articles about suffering needle me for weeks. Sometimes I'll lie awake for hours thinking of all the ways I can "fix" the stressful situations I see around me, especially when I see otherwise good people being ornery. So at first, I was tempted to jump in to defend whoever was the underdog in a conversation -regardless of whether I agreed with them or not. I wanted to knock down unnecessary sarcasm, call people back to kindness! What can't we all just be MERCIFUL to one another, regardless of where we stand!? We're all awesome, reasonable, loving women, right? We have more in common than we have differences! But of course, getting involved only brought me down more, and it never, ever convinced anyone to be more considerate. We have too many heartstrings attached to these issues to let a stranger snip those strings free by simply saying "be nice". Chris has reminded me not to take things too much to heart, to remember that it is human nature for people to make fun of each other, and reasonable people should not swallow those hurtful criticisms into their sense of being. For all I knew, those people being made fun of weren't hurt, so why was I hurt for them?? But some other pieces weren't sitting well with me . . .

Where do we, as awesomereasonablelovingwomen, draw the line between what is and is not an acceptable way to treat other people with regard to those "heartstrings issues"? How do we defend our opinions with kindness? When is it even necessary to defend opinions? When is humor mean, and when is it okay and fun? Where are we coming from when we defend or attack someone else? What kind of guidance can we follow when we feel compelled to speak up or down to someone? Most of all - how can such awesome women have such different opinions and still coexist in the body of Christ?

So I prayed about the answer to my concerns. Was it "judge not, that ye be not judged"? Was it the Savior's (seemingly contradictory) admonition to "judge righteous judgment"? Was it found in "Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, for the Son of Man’s sake. Rejoice ye in that day. . . for, behold, your reward is great in heaven."? Or was it found in "“And of some have compassion, making a difference.”

This morning in my scripture study in Luke 7, I found my particular answer. Maybe it is yours, too.
To set the scene - Jesus has just made Himself known as "he who should come" unto the disciples of John the Baptist. He has also just declared that "there is not a greater prophet than John the Baptist". But the Pharisees, surprise surprise, are rejecting both Him and John. Then comes this:

"And the Lord said, Whereunto then shall I liken the men of this generation? and to what are they like?  

They are like unto children sitting in the marketplace, and calling one to another, and saying, We have piped unto you, and ye have not danced; we have mourned to you, and ye have not wept.

For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine; and ye say, He hath a devil.

The Son of man is come eating and drinking; and ye say, Behold a gluttonous man, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners!

But wisdom is justified of all her children."

This scripture has continued to roll over me again and again like waves.Wisdom is justified of all her children.

So, to translate this into AubreySpeak. John the Baptist chose to follow Christ through fasting, solitude, and sober living. And Jesus said there was no greater prophet - he was definitely following Christ in his decisions. But Jesus himself chose to eat and drink, to attend weddings and to live amongst the people. Jesus didn't do things the same as John the Baptist. And yet, he didn't tell John that he was wrong - he was doing things right! And as for John the Baptist, he didn't do things the exactly the same as Jesus - the man whom he was most trying to follow and honor! The fact that Jesus chose to "come eating and drinking" didn't change who He was, or what His mission was, in the eyes of John - that was only in the eyes of the Pharisees. So. Why would Christ honor John the Baptist fasting? Why would John honor Jesus living an ordinary life?

Because wisdom is justified of all her children. Both John's lifestyle and Jesus' lifestyle were justified through the fact that they arrived at that lifestyle through following wisdom. The Pharisees' hypocritical lifestyle was "justified", or vindicated, as hypocritical, through the results it had for them eternally.

If we are seeking to follow wisdom - in the decisions that guide our lives, in the way we treat others, in our striving to listen to the Holy Ghost or that inner moral compass - then the results, or "children", will show that wisdom for what it is. The fruits of decisions that we try to make in wisdom will be manifest in our lives, and will do that wisdom credit in the end. Now, this isn't saying that every decisions is right, or equal. But it says to me that it will prove its worth one way or another in the end, and that exercising wisdom in my own life is more valuable for me than trying to pry into the lives of others and exercise it there. We can talk all we want about the merits of one point of view versus another, and that is healthy, as it teaches us new vantages of wisdom, empathy, and discernment - but it doesn't change hearts unless those hearts, and our hearts, are seeking after the best wisdom. It is the Pharisees who waste their lives labeling. It is Christ who reminds us to follow Him, to seek after wisdom.

But sometimes we're not good at that. Our generation, too, is like children in the marketplace, telling each other to play at partying or at mourning. We shout to the one side that they need to dance, and they shout back to us that we need to mourn. We accuse each other of "having a devil" - or of being a judgmental prude for choosing to not wear leggings. We accuse each other of being "a gluttonous man" - or of not being worthy of being taken seriously because of a past mistake or a viewpoint on another issue. Even for being a sensitive soul, I do it in my head more than I care to admit. And gosh I want to change! 

This scripture feels like a turning point for me. When I am tempted to argue - seek wisdom, and the children of that decision (love, patience and restraint) will justify it. When I am tempted to assume that someone is in the wrong, whether for judging or for making fun of someone - seek wisdom, and the children of that wisdom (a more empathetic, lighthearted and forgiving heart) will justify it. When I am tempted to fight to defend a heartstrings issue - seek wisdom, and the children of wisdom (letting go of pride, or letting someone experience their own journey to wisdom for themselves) will justify it. And for those around me, when I'm tempted to "preach" in their face - know that they will experience the fruits of their decisions in their own life, for better or for worse, and have their own chance for their wisdom to justify itself or not. And that if I'm not preaching in love and kindness, the fruits of that LACK of wisdom will end up coming back to me.

In the end, ALL of those scriptures above - not judging AND judging, defending AND exercising compassion - are the answers. But today, this was the answer that I needed. Hope this will touch someone else too.

"But wisdom is justified of all her children". - Luke 7:45