Blessedness, Or Why I'm Not Making Gratitude Posts This Year

Happy November, folks! The Thanksgiving lovers are planning their feasts on Pinterest, the Christmas lovers are getting a head start on their Christmas lists, and the autumn lovers are making up reasons to wear scarves and eat pumpkinspiceanything. It makes me happy. I fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum - turning up the Christmas music too soon, not decorating soon enough, and trying to figure out how to honor Thanksgiving while December looms, busy with my kids' music group performance, Tommy's first birthday, and of course, Christmas.
I had intended to continue a past November tradition - writing a blessing a day on Facebook. I started writing up a post about my husband Chris (who is such a blessing that he always is on top of my gratitude lists!) and began looking for the "perfect" picture to go with my post. That detour of searching for a picture gave me pause. What was I really doing here? What does this post say to others? Is this how I'm choosing to honor Thanksgiving, and if so, why?

{I am in NO WAY saying that it's not an awesome thing to make gratitude posts on Facebook! I've done it for years and it's blessed my life to count (and share) my blessings. I actually made this printable last year from the things I wrote down that I was grateful for. In fact, studies show that writing down a daily gratitude thought actually creates happiness and health in the writer. And others' posts have also given me cause to reflect on similar blessings in my own life - I'd be sad if some of my friends stopped doing it. I was just doing it for the wrong "why"s and wanted to share what I've been thinking about because of it.}

First of all, I realized that I hadn't even written my first post when I'd turned from feeling gratitude to worrying about what other people would think of my post or picture. After I got over that and just picked a picture at random, I started thinking - was I playing the comparison game with just the picture or with the gratitude posts themselves? Sometimes I see others' posts and feel happy for them or myself. Other times I get a little green jealous bug buzzing around my head when I see friends' blessings extolled, especially ones that I want but may not ever have. (bear with my convoluted train of thought, we'll reach the station soon). Of course, once we are aware of that, we see that the same can be turned in reverse - that someone seeing MY post about having the best husband ever might give them a heart of INgratitude when they consider their own marriage relationship's struggles (or any other blessing/trial). But then, should someone else's reaction keep me from expressing gratitude? No, but still. . .
I started to grapple with a few questions. If someone else isn't blessed to have the same health, abundance, and family that I have been blessed with, are they any less blessed by God? Even if they are blessed in other ways and have other things to be thankful for, what about  those who have nothing? Does "counting our blessings" mean that if I have more physical blessings than you, I should be more or less grateful? Probably not, but then why is it so good to list them? How can I cultivate a heart of gratitude when I feel like, for me, listing them is cultivating a focus on comparing, then envy or pride, and thus ingratitude? With those thoughts in mind, I decided to shelve the tradition for a while (maybe I'll do it on my blog later, rather than on Facebook) and explore a little more about gratitude and blessings.
The first thing that came to mind was a recent talk by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf. I highly recommend it: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/grateful-in-any-circumstances?lang=eng
(Seriously. Go read it and then come back. It says more of what I'm trying to say than this entire post does.)
Rereading "Grateful in Any Circumstances" reminded me that we can choose to be grateful, no matter what. It reminded me that we are not asked to be grateful for all things, but rather in all things. That gratitude is an act of faith, that "true gratitude is an expression of hope and testimony. It comes from acknowledging that we do not always understand the trials of life but trusting that one day we will."
Even with this amazing talk, I wanted to keep looking, though - what kinds of blessings can we count when we are trying to be thankful "in" all things rather than necessarily "for" all things? Even when we aren't focusing on a list of blessings, our gratitude that stems from God's love and hand in our lives still takes some form or another. So I did a some scriptural digging.
The scriptures use the terms "blessing" and "blessed" to refer to both the tangible and the intangible. People are "blessed" with posterity, deliverance, land, health, cows, the destruction of one's enemies, and miracles. The Lord extends blessings by literally blessing people, hands upon heads, with blessings to receive in the future, and other blessings are not recognized as blessings until after the fact. Jesus Christ gives us a beautiful discourse on blessings through The Sermon on the Mount. We are used to considering the "for they shall" 'column' as the blessings - obtaining mercy, comfort, the kingdom of heaven, the earth for an inheritance, and so on. It is only when searching for God in our trials that we realize that the "blessed are" column are blessings too - that mourning, being poor in spirit, being persecuted, are blessings. They are not only blessings in that they lead to the "for they shall" blessings, but they bless us by changing who we are, bringing us tiny steps closer to the throne of God.
One of the beautiful things about these blessings listed by Jesus is that they are available to all. He doesn't say, "blessed are they who have supportive, loving families, for they will always be happy", or "blessed are they who obtain good jobs, for they will be rich". He says "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy." "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God." Every blessing in the "blessed are" column is available to any of us as we try to follow the Savior through the experiences of life. Anyone can hunger and thirst after righteousness and be filled. Anyone can strive to be peacemakers, or to learn meekness. Unlike some physical blessings like health or means, these blessing flow freely to all who are willing. Isn't that just like Jesus?
Now, I realize that just because we can all have these blessings freely doesn't mean they come naturally. Lord knows (literally!) that I'm not meek, or the pure in heart. And it certainly doesn't sound like a blessing to be persecuted or to mourn. It's one more example of the paradox of Christian life - of God's Plan of Happiness for His children. "Those who find their life will lose it and those who lose themselves for my sake will find it." Like I talked about in my birth prologue post, those who sacrifice find that in giving all, they receive all. But that doesn't change the reality of the blessing available to us whether in times of joy or trial. "How blessed we are when we recognize God’s handiwork in the marvelous tapestry of life."

It sounds so trite that I've typed it and deleted it twice, but I'm going say it anyway - our ultimate blessing is not God's presents, or blessings, but His presence - His love, the light of Christ, the Holy Ghost in our hearts. And it is the most freely given, because no height nor depth can separate us from the love of God. My hope for myself this Thanksgiving is to give up comparing or even, to some degree, counting, and instead to focus on feeling God's presence in my life, in the hundredfold variety of ways that it is manifest. Today, that is my Joy. :)

"My soul doth magnify the Lord, 

And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour. 

For he hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden: for, behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed.  

For he that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy is his name. 

And his mercy is on them that fear him from generation to generation. He hath shewed strength with his arm; he hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.
He hath put down the mighty from their seats, and exalted them of low degree.
He hath filled the hungry with good things; and the rich he hath sent empty away.
He hath holpen his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy;
As he spake to our fathers, to Abraham, and to his seed for ever."

- Luke 1:46-55  (Mary's Song of Praise)