Monday, January 14, 2013

Faith and Not Fear Adventures: Financial Stewardship

I've been trying to think of a catchy mantra I can repeat to myself in moments of weakness to remind myself of my resolution to quell doubt, anxiety and fear with faith, action, and optimism. So far I've got "faith and not fear: be of good cheer!" I haven't decided if it's so dumb that I won't even use it, or if it's cheesy enough to actually work. It's not on my fridge yet, if that's an indicator.

The first bull I've tried to grab by the horns in my personal campaign to betterment is finances. It's been a rough ride for a chicken like me, but it's okay, because these changes are long overdue!

We are consistently admonished by scripture and by living prophets to be thankful for, and good stewards of, our financial and temporal blessings. Proverbs is littered with admonitions to work diligently and build our means wisely. Doctrine and Covenants is chock-full of specific applications relating to people who correctly or incorrectly used their position of stewardship over their financial assets, and dicates just what righteous stewardship entails (see Doctrine and Covenants 104:11-14). Most notable of all, Jesus Christ taught these principles through the parable of the talents and the servants (Matthew 25), and through his example to the Pharisees of the foolishness of a man starting a project he cannot afford to finish (Luke 14:28-30). We know we need to work hard, invest/spend/save prudently, give generously, pay tithing, and enjoy and be grateful for the abundance with which we've been blessed.

So, the spiritual compass is set. Now, for actual application!

I have a lot of weaknesses in this area. Although I am careful to watch my spending, I have never maintained a budget in our marriage, and I do not keep close track of the balance, ins, and outs of our bank account. I don't pay the bills, leaving that to Chris; and neither of us work during the school year (not for lack of trying last year, though: our schedules were too weird for even Wal-mart to hire us!). We don't have ANY savings. We don't buy stuff on credit, but we do owe a bundle in student loans, lurking menacingly in the wings of 2014 to catch up to us.
Yeah, pretty bad, isn't it? I personally have not been applying gospel counsel in ANY of the areas of good stewardship, except perhaps in gratitude for what we have and in prudence in what I spend on. That's why this project is so desperately needed.
This past semester, with grant money and loan money, we thought we'd have enough to pull us through until the next period of financial aide distribution. But without a budget, the money slipped away here and there: gas needed for Mesa drives, higher utilities than expected, healthier groceries without counting the cost, and so on. Suddenly we were facing the month of December, and with all every dollar we had put toward our rent check, we were still $200.00 short. I was horrified, and had no idea where the money had gone. It ended up working out, through a borrowed (and now repaid, thank you) sum from family; but I have determined that we will never be in that boat again - at least, not through inaction on my part!
So, I rolled up my sleeves and took a deep breath, determined to face the bank account. I got online and had to face the fact that I don't even have my own log-in, nor did I remember Chris's log-in/password - that's how infrequently I get on to our account! But I did it (Faith and Not Fear Triumph #1!).
Here's our current start (using our financial aide money given at the beginning of January)
  • We payed our tithing (ALWAYS pay your tithing to the Lord first, folks! I'll save that for another post).
  • We payed our rent for the full semester in advance. This was advice given by my sister-in-law, and I think it will be effective for us. It was scary to see the number drop from four digits to three, but on the other hand it was so satisfying to know that, come what may financially, our dwelling is secure; and it's important to not be fooled by a large number in the account, when that money is committed elsewhere in bills (Faith and Not Fear Triumph #2!).
  • We payed our minor debts that had been on hold - lab work, eye testing for Chris, library fees, etc.
  • We are setting aside 10% of any money that comes our way into savings. Even jobless, we've had pockets of income (Chris donates blood, I teach a voice student, we occasionally land singing gigs, etc), so the goal is for that 10% to be the tiny beginnings of a savings account.
  • I am tracking exactly where every dollar goes, and I'm trying to set limits. I'm not so great at this. If there is anyone reading this who has suggestions about how to create a budget that works month to month, I would love advice. It's helpful to see how much is spent in a category like groceries or utilities; but I don't know how to get an estimate for how much to designate to a category per month, since my numbers per month vary wildly. Some months the grocery bill is nothing (like December, where we were given some canned food and then we spent the break with my in-laws and didn't grocery shop), and other months (like this month, since I'm replenishing I suppose) where the grocery bill seems way over the top. Any ideas for how to adjust the curve here would be appreciated.
 Future goals include plans to find work, using a budget to set aside even more in savings, and breaking out of being attached to family members' accounts for bills and such.

All of this paying off has left us with not much left over in the end, which is intimidating. But we know that Heavenly Father is taking care of us, as He always has, and that He is pleased that we are taking steps to align ourselves more with what He has taught us.
Chris is helping us along this road of financial stewardship by applying for work, and just today he officially lined up a ten-hour a week job in the music office on campus! At minimum wage, that might not seem like a big deal, but for our current situation, it's huge!! I'm so proud of him for making efforts to overcome his own fears/doubts by his work to secure a job. When we move our feet, the Lord provides a way. :)

"And the Lord said, Who then is that faithful and wise steward, whom his lord shall make ruler over his household, to give them their portion of meat in due season? Blessed is that servant, whom his lord when he cometh shall find so doing. Of a truth I say unto you, that he will make him ruler over all that he hath."
Luke 12:42-44

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Hello 2013!

Happy January 2013, y'all. Chris and I had a truly wonderful Christmas Break, and we will be heading back up to school in the next couple of days.


As usual, I've neglected this blog. But I'm back, with a lot of thoughts on my mind. So please excuse my poor grammar today. My thoughts are everywhere, so they will just come out as they are.

I have been given many, many, MANY blessings in my life. Some are blessings that have been given to all, such as the love of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, the gift of mortality. I've also been blessed to have my wonderful husband whom I love more than anything, my incredible mother and dad, my siblings, my in-laws and extended family, and dear friends. In our current phase of life, we even have a lovely apartment, the opportunity to attend school, and enough money to get by.

And yet, with all these blessings, I manage to tinge each one of them with my anxieties - fear, worry, sadness, doubt. These all lead to feeling guilt for not "appreciating" my blessings, which only feeds the negative feelings. But I am finally realizing that feeling sad or anxious doesn't mean I don't appreciate what I have been given. But nor can I just stop there and accept that it's okay to be constantly sad or anxious. So I've been pondering a lot about how to "keep" happy, and it's caused me to do some soul-searching about who I am and what's holding me back.

I am something of a timid person. I don't usually come across that way in conversation (for which I'm thankful), but when it comes right down to the meat-and-potatoes of life, I have a lot of fear. I'm afraid of trying new things. Making phone calls. Handling finances. Dancing. Job interviews, even working. Exercising around other people. Experimenting with recipes or hairstyles or painting. Doctor appointments.

But all that fear is getting me down. I'm getting to that place where, when I'm faced with an opportunity, I don't even respond with fear, I respond with negativity -- "I'm afraid to do that" becomes "I don't do that" becomes "I can't do that". Which ends up making me feel sad about myself and about life, when in reality the "can't" piece of my self-talk isn't necessarily true.

I want to be happy. I want to change. And this is my year to start!

It's time to give myself the advice that Elder Wirthlin's mother gave him: "Come what may and love it!" I'm done wringing my hands when the money is tight; I am going to learn how to budget better. I'm done scrolling through other people's Pinterest boards with a lump in my throat because I'm not Super Woman; I am going to be honest with myself about what matters to me, what will improve my life, and what I enjoy & not what others think I should enjoy, and then give those things a try! I'm done with thinking that the grass is greener on the other side; I am going to "lift where I stand" and water the grass where I am. I will try to keep all these aims balanced with a realistic view of making choices based on what the Lord wants of me, how much I can handle, and what will improve rather than burden my life. But it's time for me to stop treating the majority of my life as a burden, when actually, it's a wonderful life. I'm looking forward to the changes I'll make, and the effects those changes will have on my life!

So begins a journey!

"Be careful [anxious or fearful] for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Jesus Christ . . . whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." - Philippians 4: 6-8