Remember how I wrote a post at the beginning of the year, about how I am seeking to know God better? This is one of several-to-come update posts relating to that. It's not that I'm on some new level. But I've been feeling some small changes, and making some conscious efforts. I think they're worth sharing, or even just recording for myself as a check-up from the time I initially felt that I needed to work on my relationship with God.
First, lately I have felt more deeply in my soul this fact about God: God is The Giver. "Our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, are the ultimate Givers", and I would include Mother in that, too. The scriptures tell us, "If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone?" However, sometimes it goes a step further. Recently, I have been astonished that when I ask for bread, I instead receive cake.
[Not always, of course. As Elder Renlund warned us in his last Conference address, it's important to not come to God with a sense of entitlement. That's something I fight off, a lot, unfortunately. It becomes a cycle of: expecting everything, not receiving everything, falling down and expecting nothing, and then being surprised when I receive everything. . . then all too often, going back to expecting everything. I suppose it's just my own new labels slapped on the Pride Cycle, right?]
It's terrible-but-my-own-fault, that it takes moments of fearful uncertainty or trial to bring me to the kind of desperation that makes me rely on God again. Recently, I have actually experienced it in reverse - where I at FIRST felt confident as I pressed forward, sure that God would take care of me. Then every few steps, I would discover the terror of empty air beneath my feet. AND YET. Each time I hit a firm foothold after falling but a few feet. So was I ever left to the empty air at all? No, just enough to get freaked out! and call out for rescue. Which I thought I was dodging, by trying to forge my way forward in action as best as I could in the first place! I guess I have a long way to go on that concept.
Anyway . . . I have asked the Lord for some certain things in my life, and he has given me and my family good gifts such as we had not expected. I look at where I was even two months ago and am shocked at where we are now. From totally broke to buying our first house, for one. Other ones too private to share. Nothing has been perfectly easy, but everything has come to us tenfold for our prayers and efforts.
Second. I have also come to a realization - one that is now so obvious to me that I feel stupid that it wasn't clear to me before. I have realized that my depression is warping my view of EVERYTHING in my life, including (this is the part I really hadn't accepted yet) my sense of God and my own spirituality. And it's like, well DUH! But I think it snuck in on the edges so gradually that I didn't notice it. It is to the point that I have proclaimed that God doesn't care about me while literally simultaneously experiencing the physical blessings of promptings I'd been given and responded to. Psycho, but real. Because my body's chemicals tell me that I'm sitting in the dark even as I sit in the light. I think I pretended there was a neat line dividing the emotional and the spiritual, and there's not. In fact, even as I write this, I don't yet believe my own self yet. It takes only a bad nights' sleep and a lack of recharge time to throw me RIGHT back into my dark views on self, God, church, marriage, world, you name it. It's still a struggle. But at least now I can name and see the beast I'm fighting.
Depression is blocking me from feeling like I'm on track with the Lord. I feel like there's an emptiness, a lack of connection. I feel that my relationship with God holds no joy and therefore how can it hold worth and meaning? I tell myself that it's my conscience or the Holy Ghost chastening me to do better, be better. I go through ridiculous amounts of guilt. All the prayer, scriptures, counseling, etc., still leaves me feeling dead spiritually. But in the end there is nothing spiritually happening to make me feel this empty. However, there is stuff chemically happening to make me feel empty.
Anyway, dumb that it's only in the past several months that I've really realized all of this. And so now I have to tell myself the things I feel are just not true. It's one thing that I've let my anxiety and depression be part of hating on myself . It's another dangerous level that I let my anxiety and depression convince me to do the same thing with God, and my family.
I'm not exactly sure what the solution is, both with regard to rebuilding my connections to God and other people, and with regard to getting a better grip on my depression and anxiety. But like I said before, at least now I can recognize what I'm dealing with. It's a place to start. And I think coming to that realization was another gift from The Giver, too. :)
"O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions? And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy? Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul."
Tuesday, August 2, 2016
Tuesday, July 5, 2016
My Own Written Therapy Session To Sort Out How I Feel About Moving
Have you ever wanted someone to make your decisions for you? In a world and existence where free will and freedom is so deeply valuable, this sounds stupid. And usually it is, let's be honest. But even so, sometimes you just want to hand someone else the reins and say, "Here. Fix it. Just tell me which is the right thing to do and I'll do it. Hopefully you'll take care of most of it."
That's the mentality I've been overly mired in lately when it comes to God. I genuinely want to do what God wants me to do, I want our family to be doing what He wants us to be doing, and I want to be planted where He wants us to be planted. But my problem was (ha, who am I kidding, still is!) that I want it to be straightforward and pre-decided - that straightforwardness is the reason I want someone to tell me what to do in the first place! But very few things in life are straightforward. Maybe you too have been in that place where you truly want to do what God wants you to do - but you want Him to tell you exactly what that is, or to pave the path for you, and He doesn't. Because that's not usually how it works, and because what He really wants you to do is start walking down the tiny piece of path He's already shown you, and take your own action from there. Well, that's happening in about four major areas of my life right now.
Anyway, all of this is just to say -
We are moving! . . . and within the next week if at all possible.
I have mixed feelings. As in, take all the feelings and mix them together, and that's me right now! Fear is probably the big one, and the one that I know doesn't belong so I'm trying to squelch it. Fear of the unknown. Fear that we are moving out without a fully-realized plan other than taking refuge with the in-laws once again as we figure out where we are supposed to go from here. Fear of being insecure in finances and living situations. Fear of being poor and broke and stuck.
Aside from the fear? Sadness to be leaving this little house we have loved. Sadness at pulling up our roots from a place we thought we could stay planted a bit longer (turns out that it's not the place we are going to grow the most.) Sadness to be moving a bit farther away from friends we have made here. Also - Joy! Excitement at the prospect of a new house, perhaps even one that we could own rather than rent. Hope, as we hack through the jungle of finances and home-hunting, that we will be in a good place - a place, physically and metaphorically, where God wants us to be. Motivation to get 'er done, because the sooner we move the sooner we will find out if our hopes will be realized in the particular house we are visualizing. Anger and Disgust (can't leave them out now, can we!) at myself for poor home and life management skills, aka the amount of work that needs to be done to get us out the door. And Gratitude! Gratitude for the time we've spent here, the friends we've made here, the good memories with Tommy here, for the options ahead of us, for the possibilities of moving on to things and places that will fit this stage of life for us; and Gratitude for our families, especially our parents, who have been doing all they can to help us out in this time of transition and uncertainty.
And these are just the feelings about moving, much less the rest of life's "stuff"! To quote Ron Weasley, "One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode." Well, I'm pretty close, but too tired and busy to actually get down to the business of exploding. ;)
We're gonna be okay. I have to tell myself that every day, but it's true. We have never been abandoned by the Lord in any previous circumstances; we have "made it through 100% of our bad days", as the saying goes; and we always are blessed with what we need. And wherever we are, family is what we are, and what we need the most. And though fear may tell me otherwise, it's not wrong to be happy and excited and put hope in the idea that what's ahead is going to be even better than what's behind! So here's to better things ahead!
"God is in your corner. Everything will work out for our good." -- Elder Jeffrey R. Holland.
That's the mentality I've been overly mired in lately when it comes to God. I genuinely want to do what God wants me to do, I want our family to be doing what He wants us to be doing, and I want to be planted where He wants us to be planted. But my problem was (ha, who am I kidding, still is!) that I want it to be straightforward and pre-decided - that straightforwardness is the reason I want someone to tell me what to do in the first place! But very few things in life are straightforward. Maybe you too have been in that place where you truly want to do what God wants you to do - but you want Him to tell you exactly what that is, or to pave the path for you, and He doesn't. Because that's not usually how it works, and because what He really wants you to do is start walking down the tiny piece of path He's already shown you, and take your own action from there. Well, that's happening in about four major areas of my life right now.
Anyway, all of this is just to say -
We are moving! . . . and within the next week if at all possible.
I have mixed feelings. As in, take all the feelings and mix them together, and that's me right now! Fear is probably the big one, and the one that I know doesn't belong so I'm trying to squelch it. Fear of the unknown. Fear that we are moving out without a fully-realized plan other than taking refuge with the in-laws once again as we figure out where we are supposed to go from here. Fear of being insecure in finances and living situations. Fear of being poor and broke and stuck.
Aside from the fear? Sadness to be leaving this little house we have loved. Sadness at pulling up our roots from a place we thought we could stay planted a bit longer (turns out that it's not the place we are going to grow the most.) Sadness to be moving a bit farther away from friends we have made here. Also - Joy! Excitement at the prospect of a new house, perhaps even one that we could own rather than rent. Hope, as we hack through the jungle of finances and home-hunting, that we will be in a good place - a place, physically and metaphorically, where God wants us to be. Motivation to get 'er done, because the sooner we move the sooner we will find out if our hopes will be realized in the particular house we are visualizing. Anger and Disgust (can't leave them out now, can we!) at myself for poor home and life management skills, aka the amount of work that needs to be done to get us out the door. And Gratitude! Gratitude for the time we've spent here, the friends we've made here, the good memories with Tommy here, for the options ahead of us, for the possibilities of moving on to things and places that will fit this stage of life for us; and Gratitude for our families, especially our parents, who have been doing all they can to help us out in this time of transition and uncertainty.
And these are just the feelings about moving, much less the rest of life's "stuff"! To quote Ron Weasley, "One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode." Well, I'm pretty close, but too tired and busy to actually get down to the business of exploding. ;)
We're gonna be okay. I have to tell myself that every day, but it's true. We have never been abandoned by the Lord in any previous circumstances; we have "made it through 100% of our bad days", as the saying goes; and we always are blessed with what we need. And wherever we are, family is what we are, and what we need the most. And though fear may tell me otherwise, it's not wrong to be happy and excited and put hope in the idea that what's ahead is going to be even better than what's behind! So here's to better things ahead!
"God is in your corner. Everything will work out for our good." -- Elder Jeffrey R. Holland.
Monday, June 6, 2016
Semester Overview
Hello Blog. It's been awhile. Not for lack of writing - I wrote a searingly brutal word-vomit after Super Tuesday, and then another one on May 4th, after a certain someone became the presumptive Republican nominee. However, my husband urged me to exercise good judgement and wait 24 hours before posting. The writing did me some good. And waiting to share it was good too, as I decided that no one else needed to see all my angry snark on THAT subject. Not that I'm against word-vomits. Just the ones that bring out my angry streak a little too much. ;)
So how about some pictures instead of paragraphs? Here's our semester in pictures, from the Dentonoids.
So how about some pictures instead of paragraphs? Here's our semester in pictures, from the Dentonoids.
This semester was out-of-control busy and, well, kinda stressful. As such, it involved a lot of poor-but-let's-call-them-awesome parenting decisions, like indoor picnics of Sonic breakfast burritos on blankets on messy floors in pajamas.
One of the things we LOVED about this semester was spending time with friends! We have been so amazed by all the wonderful people we met in the Adobe Villa Ward! I was so bummed out when boundaries changed and that was no longer our ward.
Much of my energy was devoted to my kids' group this semester. I took almost no pictures, though. I didn't even take pictures of the performance! Sad panda. So here's a shot that I took only to help one of these little girl remember who she stands by in that song, haha!
Thanks to some hard work and some extra family help, we were able to swing a Disneyland trip with my family! They hadn't been in about seven years, and it was such a blast experiencing it with them.
This kid inherited some Disney-love from his mama, I daresay. So many moments of pure happiness from him! It was magical.
And afterward? The perfect magic to follow up and complement a fast-paced theme park - my mom and dad took us all to the beach, and we all had a wonderful time.
Easter came and went with fun family picnics and a real effort to help Tommy understand what it was all about.
In addition to the basic commitments of the semester, Chris was a musical director for his first-ever show! Big Fish the Musical! Lots of work, and lots of fun.
In our new ward, we were called to be nursery leaders. Neither of us have ever been in nursery, so it's definitely teaching us lots! But we love that we get to be together and we enjoy being with Tommy and all those darlings.
Posting this one just for cuteness, and because I was impressed with how quick he figured those tracks out on his own. I guess it's a pretty accurate depiction of HIS semester!
We found out that our sister-in-law and Chris's brother are expecting! It's a boy!! Tommy is gunna have a little cousin close to his age! We are thrilled for them, and they're going to be awesome parents.
On Mother's Day, we got to Skype with Aurelia, who is currently serving a mission in Tahiti. It was sure good to see her excited face and hear her bubbly voice!
The learning curve of Chris's first year of teaching was steep, to the very end. It's been hard work! But he seriously LOVES his kids, and they love him, and he was able to teach them so much. They had a great spring concert, Spring Sing, Baccalaureate, graduation, etc.! As a side note - Right at the end of the semester, Chris was officially declared legally blind. While that has been hard for him to swallow, we are hopeful that that the ensuing resources available to him will help him navigate the logistics of working and not driving.
I did my best to assist him as much as possible with his school stuff. And on the side, I got to assist this amazing lady with her Sunshine Singers!
And then came my own show. Which I think was pretty good! I think the kids all had a great learning and performing experience! Again, I didn't get any pictures. But here's what it looked like at midnight the night before the show?
The truth is, this is probably the most accurate picture of my semester: driving around here to there, running errands, heading to and from class/lessons/work, or driving Chris, usually makeup-less and headband hair with a poor little tagalong buddy in the backseat:
Or maybe just this face: "We got this. Right? Right? Right?"
[This was my #uglyselfiefriday the day before the show.]
All said and done, we survived Chris's first year of teaching. And, truthfully, went through a lot of challenges I'm not going to laundry-list here. . . it's been a tough semester. But through all the good and the bad, we have made it out alive on the other end! We're so thankful for all the blessings from people and from heaven that brought the good into, and out of, this semester.
Now, on to Workshop season!
(Stay tuned for a Tommy-only picture update, my parents and grandparents!)
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Coming to Know God
My final "hope for 2016" in my
last post was "Come to know God more". A scary thing to say,
since coming to know God often involves fiery furnaces and lion's dens.
The unfortunate truth is that that's not what I want! But I do want to
grow in my understanding and relationship with every member of the
Godhead.
I want to come to trust Heavenly Father in all
His complexity more. In some ways, I feel like I have turned him into a
magician who flips switches, a powerful someone who sits in heaven and opens
and closes doors and windows based on prayers, behaviors, and tides of fate. It
sounds foolish when written out like that, because I know that is not really
who or what He is - even when that's sometimes what He does! And yet so much of
my daily interaction with Him is only that, somehow. I want to move beyond this
perception of a loving wish granter or denier, turning traffic lights red or
green. I want to really understand God as a little more of who He
is.
I want to come to love and connect with Jesus
Christ more. Since we pray only to the Father and "give the glory"
to Him, and yet we worship Jesus Christ too, I sometimes have trouble
reconciling that into a real, emotional relationship with Him. It's not that I
don't love Jesus Christ, or feel the utmost gratitude for his Atonement, or
feel Him in my life, because I absolutely do. I just feel like prayer has been
one of my main ways of connecting to Heavenly Father, and without praying TO
Christ, I need to be sure that I am finding other ways to nurture that
connection with my Savior. On a similar note . . .
I want to come to know Heavenly Mother. For
anyone reading this who is not LDS, I invite to you to explore our belief in
the idea that we have not only a Heavenly Father but a Heavenly Mother. For any
of you who are LDS, I invite YOU to explore our belief that we have not only a
Heavenly Father but also a Heavenly Mother! I know Heavenly Mother is a
reality. I have felt Her - a distinct, divine feminine presence in my
spiritual life. Lately I have felt deeply drawn to build a connection with Her.
Which is a challenge, as there is hardly anything to go on: no direct
scripture, only vague allusions, reasonable conclusions leading to the bare
facts of Her existence and Her nature, and the reminder that we are not to pray
to Her. I can only speculate as to why She is veiled from us (I think there are
lots of reasons, but all of them are "made up" on logical guesses
that may not even be that logical). And yet, I believe that the draw
I feel to see God as Father and Mother is right. For is that not our ultimate
goal, as individuals, couples, and families - to become like Them? As I mother my son, and as I weigh the wonderful and
terrifying possibility of someday having another child, I want to get advice
and support from God. Of course I pray to Heavenly Father, asking for guidance
and blessings. Nor do I feel like I necessarily need to direct these
prayers to Heavenly Mother instead, as I trust in His provided pattern and
their oneness of purpose. But I feel like there is something especially
bolstering in knowing that there is a Mother - a Woman who has walked where you
are now walking - who is reaching out to you in your need with Love, guidance,
and wisdom. I sure need that bolstering. I look forward to where this journey
of seeking for Her will lead me. Which leads me to my final hope . . .
I want to keep the Spirit more regularly in my
life. All of these journeys of seeking God are really one journey, and it
is one that can only be facilitated by the Holy Spirit. So I want to have the
Spirit as my constant companion. I want to really live in such a way that the
Holy Ghost can be present in my every day life. We are given that amazing gift,
but it's HARD to live! I want to feel that Spirit and the feelings it
gives as the consistent undercurrent of my life, not the waves that come and go
and come again. It's going to take WORK. Choosing to rein in anger and pour out
kindness; to seek after that which is virtuous, lovely, or of good report; and
to create order out of the chaos of our environments, creations, jobs or emotions,
can be SO incredibly DIFFICULT. I struggle with these things. They're all the
reasons life as flawed mortals is hard! Yet as we do these things we are
promised the Spirit can be with us, and the presence of the Spirit is not only
a blessing unto itself but a precursor of other goodness - it is the tide that
carries us toward greater light.
I hope in expressing these things I haven't
jinxed myself, as Elder Eyering did in asking for "mountains to
climb". (See what I'm doing here, acting like I'm being divinely jinxed?
Back to square one, coming to know the Father!). But I feel these things
earnestly, and in sharing them I hope to be able to come back at a later time
with new posts sharing what I've learned. I hope to report what has or hasn't
been working for me as I try to keep the Spirit in my life. I hope to
start meaningful conversations about Heavenly Mother with others who may be
seeking Her - who knows but that I might have "kindred spirits"
amongst my own friends, and not have known it! I hope to use the very act
of writing these and other such things out, as one of the steps to constantly
renew my love, gratitude, and connection to Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father.
And I hope to have not only opinions to say but testimony and experiences to share
so that anyone reading this may too, "Come to know God" more.
"I love them that love me; and
those that seek me early shall find me. My fruit is better than gold, yea, than fine gold; and my
revenue than choice silver. I lead in the way of righteousness, in the
midst of the paths of judgment. The Lord possessed
me in the beginning of his way, before his works of old. I was
set up from everlasting, from the beginning, or ever the earth
was. When there were no depths, I was
brought forth; when there were no
fountains abounding with water. Before the mountains were settled, before
the hills was I brought forth: While as yet he had not made the earth, nor
the fields, nor the highest part of the dust of the world. When
he prepared the heavens, I was there: when
he set a compass upon the face of the depth: When he established
the clouds above: when he strengthened the fountains of the deep:
When he gave to the sea his decree, that the
waters should not pass his commandment: when he appointed the foundations of
the earth:
Then I was by him, as one brought up with him: and
I was daily his delight, rejoicing always
before him; Rejoicing in the habitable part of his earth; and my
delights were with the sons of men. Now therefore
hearken unto me, O ye children: for blessed are they that keep
my ways. Hear instruction, and be wise, and refuse it not. Blessed is the man that
heareth me, watching daily at my gates, waiting at the posts of my
doors. For whoso findeth me findeth life, and shall obtain favour of the Lord." - Proverbs 8:17,19-20,22-35
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
Looking Back at 2015 and Looking Forward at 2016
What a year 2015 has been. Sometimes in the day-to-day grind of daily
life and bills and stresses we forget to soak ourselves in all the good
stuff. And boy, has this year been full of the most incredible blessings
and experiences!! I can hardly believe it when I look at this year as a
whole. Chris got hired in his degree, and has spent a semester teaching
choir, at a school he wouldn't have imagined being lucky enough to end
up at. We are living in a HOUSE. Thomas has grown from
sweet baby to happy, exceptionally bright little boy, talking up a
storm. We've been blessed by family and friends with opportunities for
some AMAZING trips, including Tommy's first experience at the beach,
Chris's first experience at Six Flags, and me being able to attend my
best friend's wedding in Hawaii. We've had difficult trials. Everyone
does. Sometimes I get tunnel vision with anxiety and fear about those
trials, and I need to work on not only remembering all the blessings,
but also trusting my Savior (and myself) to get through hard things.
Here's to working on that in 2016. ;) Here's to 2015, and all the good and bad it held. And here's to 2016 -
may we become better people, people who love more, laugh more, work
more, and live more!
Goals and Hopes for 2016
It is my goal to:
Goals and Hopes for 2016
It is my goal to:
- Consistently, daily read my scriptures and the current General Conference address.
- Live a healthy lifestyle in which I eat nourishing foods, exercise, and live free from sugar addiction.
- Attend the temple once a month, go on a date night once a month, and have family night every week.
- Organize and use my time wisely in order to be an engaged mom, keep a clean home, and be an effective teacher.
- Grow my children's performing groups into a thriving, successful, enjoyable program.
- Go to bed early and get up early.
- Treat everyone, including myself, with greater kindness and acceptance.
It is my hope to:
- Raise Thomas to be a happy, healthy toddler who feels loved, enjoys learning, and feels the Spirit in his daily life.
- Create a home environment that is loving, happy, clean, orderly, safe, rich in learning, Christ-centered, and filled with the Holy Ghost.
- Support Chris with kindness, service, and loyalty as he works and leads our family.
- Prepare myself spiritually, mentally, emotionally, financially and physically for the possibility of another child in the future (see how vague that is there? ;) Be prepared for another post for further elaboration).
- Come to know God more. (See my next post).
Saturday, December 5, 2015
25 Days of Christmas Books: Toddler Edition!
A few weeks ago I was chatting with a dear cousin of mine, when we began brainstorming what we were going to do with our families to keep Christmas Christ-centered. She gave me some lovely ideas that deserve their own post (hopefully I will get to it later in the season once we do them!). Of course, one of the big ones that came up in my mind is Christmas books! The 25 Days of Christmas books is traveling across the mommy-blogosphere right now, and it really appealed to me as a daily way to keep our Christmas magical AND Christ-centered. I knew I'd have some favorite titles to share with her, so when she asked for some suggestions I began writing down all the books I wanted to use. By the time I was done sending her my list, I realized I had half a blog post on my hands! So here it is and then some!
But this list may be a little different from others you might find. While there are DOZENS of Christmas books that I ADORE, I have to keep in mind that my kiddo is only a toddler. So while I may love "The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey", is Tommy really going to sit through that whole book? Maybe, maybe not, since he's pretty good at sitting through stories for his age. But I can't choose books of that length and complexity night after night. So I went really simple this year, with the majority of the books catering to the toddler and preschool crowd. A lot of these are board books. 13 are Christ-centered/nativity-related, 5 more are giving/serving-based, and 7 are more of the "Christmas magic" sort. I hope you find some books to share with your children, too!
25 BOOKS OF CHRISTMAS: For Toddlers/Youngers/Shorter Attention Spans
Dec. 1: What is Christmas? by Michelle Medlock Adams. It's a cute rhyming board book that goes through all the fun things to do on Christmas while asking what Christmas is really about, then moving to Jesus' birth as the answer. A great kickstarter to the holiday season.
Dec 2: My Very First Christmas Story. Just a sweet, large board book of the nativity story.
Dec. 3: The First Christmas, by Tomie DePaola. This was my husband's favorite Christmas book as a child. That classic, beautiful DePaola artwork is transformed in this gorgeous popup book. Thomas loved it! And so did I.
Dec 4: Room For a Little One, by Martin Waddell. I got this one at Deseret Book last year. In this book of shimmery, gold-flecked art, Kind Ox gives a place to Old Dog, Old Dog makes room for Stray Cat, Stray Cat makes a safe place for Small Mouse, etc., with the refrain of "always room for a little one here" culminating in the arrival of baby Jesus.
Dec. 5: Mickey and Minnie's Gift of the Magi. Yeah, Tommy requested this one three times in a row. He's Mickey obsessed. Plus points is that the cartoon version is on Netflix right now. If your child isn't a Mickey lover, or if you are wanting something less "branded", you can always choose another version of Gift of the Magi.
Dec. 6: The Usborne Touchy-Feely Nativity. Don't worry - while I am an Usborne consultant, I'm not putting this in here to sell to you - because it's out of print! ;) I just love this one anyway. There are multiple textures on each page, from the donkey's ears to the swaddling blanket. And of course, the nativity story in here is simple and sweet.
Dec. 7: Little Tree by e. e. cummings . Something about this book always bring a smile to my face and a lump to my throat. The artwork is so special to me (so get the one illustrated by Deborah Kogan Ray!).
Dec. 8: The Little Drummer Boy, by Ezra Jack Keats. I think this is THE original? This text is just the text o the song, so it could be sung or spoken.
Dec 9: God Bless Our Christmas, by Hannah C. Hall. I wouldn't actually recommend this. . . I got it at a thrift story for a buck, and for it's good size, sweet Arctic animal pictures, etc., it's been a definite win for a toddler. But would I have paid the $10 price on the back, no. If I had money and wanted to make this a perfect list, I'd probably sub this out for Olive the Other Reindeer or Jan Brett's The Mitten.
Dec. 10: The Friendly Beasts. There are many great versions of this song-story of animals giving gifts to the baby Jesus. I can't remember who makes my favorite (my mom owns it).This year we're using The Animals' First Christmas, which is the same text as the friendly beasts but minus two verses and in a board book to keep it Tommy-friendly. This one can also be sung or spoken.
Dec. 11: How the Grinch Stole Christmas. No explanation needed!
Dec. 12: Ummmm. . . I can't find it at the moment to 100% confirm the title, but I think it's A Charlie Brown Christmas. But there are, like, four different versions, at least two of which have different art, and I can't remember which one I ended up choosing at Bookman's. But regardless, gotta have some Charlie Brown every Christmas, right? Go choose the one that looks best to you. ;)
Dec. 13: The Christmas Train by Thomas S. Monson. While this might veer a tiny bit out of the toddler-friendly category, I don't think it will be a problem because of its large, colorful illustrations (and the toy trains!).
Dec 14: The Story of the Nutcracker Ballet. While there are versions I like much better (particularly in the artwork category), we are choosing the one by Deborah Hautzig and illustrated by Diana Goode because it's shorter, and well, I already have it. And that art's not bad! It's just not as amazing as others I've seen. He's already loving Grandma's nutcrackers this season, so I want to give it some context.
Dec. 15: The Polar Express. Another oldie-but-goodie.
Dec. 16: This is the Star, by Joyce Dunbar and Gary Blythe. A great read-aloud with cumulative rhyme that's soothing to listen to. "This is the angel shining bright, who came to the shepherds watching by night, who saw the star in the sky." By the end there's a lot of text per page, with starker, darker art, so choose it on a good-attention-span kind of night. ;)
Dec. 17: Secrets of Winter. This is the only book on my list that's not a Christmas book, and is instead a winter book. But the fun of this one is that it is a "shine-a-light" book! You use a flashlight behind the page to reveal hidden pictures: rabbits in a snowbank, squirrels in a hollow tree, etc. Tommy loves playing with flashlights with Grandpa, and he loves the Seashore edition of this book we have, so I know it's going to be a hit.
Dec. 18: Christmas in the Manger, by Felicia Bond. Disclaimer: I haven't read this one yet, I'm ordering it. But every review, every picture, and everyone I know who has read it gives it two thumbs up. I'm looking forward to checking it out!
Dec. 19: A Present for Piglet. Just like the God Bless Our Christmas, I wouldn't recommend this for anyone else, per se. But my buddy boy LOVES Winnie the Pooh, and will in fact be having a Pooh-themed birthday party on this very day! So we're going with it. ;) If I were less broke, I'd get "Silent Night", the one with the Thomas Kinkaide illustrations, to put in on this night.
Dec. 20: Noel, by Tony Johnston. This one has lovely watercolor pictures and lush, sensation-oriented poetry. It gives some meaning to what may be an empty Christmas word for kids (and adults, too!). A great read-aloud!
These last five are very special to me, enough so that on three or four of them I'm breaking the rules of "toddler-friendliness". I may have to sum up pages or accept that he won't "get" it, but they are MUSTS for my Christmas season with my family, the ones that will be part of our family Christmas traditions forever.
Dec. 21: The Littlest Angel. I thought everyone knew this classic, but I have discovered that many people don't know this one! It's the sweet story of the littlest angel in heaven as he struggles to adapt to heaven, how he gives his most precious gift to the Christ-child, and how his sacrifice is transformed by God into something most wondrous. I don't know if I've ever read this book without crying. In a good way! Go get this book!
Dec. 22: The Night Before Christmas. While it seems counter-intuitive to not be reading this on Christmas Eve, I save Christmas Eve for the most Christ-centered book. But we're still reading this close enough to Christmas Eve to soak in the magic of it!
Dec. 23: I Believe in Santa Claus. A good follow up after The Night Before Christmas. This beautiful book shows the many ways that Santa is a symbol of Jesus Christ. GO GET THIS BOOK, PLEASE. (and this is an exception to my disclaimer about - this one has beautiful, large illustrations and short, simple sentences). I get teary every time I read this book. This is a win for toddlers and kids.
Dec. 24: When Jesus Was Born in Bethlehem, illustrated by Joseph Brickey. It's all directly from scripture, so it's like the traditional reading of Luke 2. But it's BETTER because it includes more scriptures - ones that remind us of the reason Christ came to earth, the annunciation, etc. . . and the artwork is SO BEAUTIFUL. I really feel the Spirit each time we read from this. My Noble family reads this every Christmas Eve after dinner. Here's a couple of my favorites from this book:
Dec. 25: The Tale of Three Trees. Although I know this will go over Tommy's head in most ways, I think the spirit of this book will carry it through. This folktale tells of three trees who fulfill their aspirations in unexpected but remarkable ways - as they become Jesus' manger, boat, and cross. I think this is a great one for Christmas Day because it helps us look beyond just the manger and on to the purposes of Christ's coming. Can't go a Christmas season without this special book.
So those are our 25 Books of Christmas, toddlerized! Next year or the year after, I will re-work this list to include many of MY favorite titles that I had to leave off since he's so little! Classics like The Christmas Candle, or new favorites like Angela and the Baby Jesus. I can't wait to introduce to Tommy to some of those, once his attention span and interest have reached their level!
I'm always on the lookout for new children's books, especially Christmas. So if you have any recommendations, send 'em my way!
But this list may be a little different from others you might find. While there are DOZENS of Christmas books that I ADORE, I have to keep in mind that my kiddo is only a toddler. So while I may love "The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey", is Tommy really going to sit through that whole book? Maybe, maybe not, since he's pretty good at sitting through stories for his age. But I can't choose books of that length and complexity night after night. So I went really simple this year, with the majority of the books catering to the toddler and preschool crowd. A lot of these are board books. 13 are Christ-centered/nativity-related, 5 more are giving/serving-based, and 7 are more of the "Christmas magic" sort. I hope you find some books to share with your children, too!
25 BOOKS OF CHRISTMAS: For Toddlers/Youngers/Shorter Attention SpansDec. 1: What is Christmas? by Michelle Medlock Adams. It's a cute rhyming board book that goes through all the fun things to do on Christmas while asking what Christmas is really about, then moving to Jesus' birth as the answer. A great kickstarter to the holiday season.
Dec 2: My Very First Christmas Story. Just a sweet, large board book of the nativity story.
Dec. 3: The First Christmas, by Tomie DePaola. This was my husband's favorite Christmas book as a child. That classic, beautiful DePaola artwork is transformed in this gorgeous popup book. Thomas loved it! And so did I.
Dec 4: Room For a Little One, by Martin Waddell. I got this one at Deseret Book last year. In this book of shimmery, gold-flecked art, Kind Ox gives a place to Old Dog, Old Dog makes room for Stray Cat, Stray Cat makes a safe place for Small Mouse, etc., with the refrain of "always room for a little one here" culminating in the arrival of baby Jesus.
Dec. 5: Mickey and Minnie's Gift of the Magi. Yeah, Tommy requested this one three times in a row. He's Mickey obsessed. Plus points is that the cartoon version is on Netflix right now. If your child isn't a Mickey lover, or if you are wanting something less "branded", you can always choose another version of Gift of the Magi.
Dec. 6: The Usborne Touchy-Feely Nativity. Don't worry - while I am an Usborne consultant, I'm not putting this in here to sell to you - because it's out of print! ;) I just love this one anyway. There are multiple textures on each page, from the donkey's ears to the swaddling blanket. And of course, the nativity story in here is simple and sweet.
Dec. 7: Little Tree by e. e. cummings . Something about this book always bring a smile to my face and a lump to my throat. The artwork is so special to me (so get the one illustrated by Deborah Kogan Ray!).
Dec. 8: The Little Drummer Boy, by Ezra Jack Keats. I think this is THE original? This text is just the text o the song, so it could be sung or spoken.
Dec 9: God Bless Our Christmas, by Hannah C. Hall. I wouldn't actually recommend this. . . I got it at a thrift story for a buck, and for it's good size, sweet Arctic animal pictures, etc., it's been a definite win for a toddler. But would I have paid the $10 price on the back, no. If I had money and wanted to make this a perfect list, I'd probably sub this out for Olive the Other Reindeer or Jan Brett's The Mitten.
Dec. 10: The Friendly Beasts. There are many great versions of this song-story of animals giving gifts to the baby Jesus. I can't remember who makes my favorite (my mom owns it).This year we're using The Animals' First Christmas, which is the same text as the friendly beasts but minus two verses and in a board book to keep it Tommy-friendly. This one can also be sung or spoken.
Dec. 11: How the Grinch Stole Christmas. No explanation needed!
Dec. 12: Ummmm. . . I can't find it at the moment to 100% confirm the title, but I think it's A Charlie Brown Christmas. But there are, like, four different versions, at least two of which have different art, and I can't remember which one I ended up choosing at Bookman's. But regardless, gotta have some Charlie Brown every Christmas, right? Go choose the one that looks best to you. ;)
Dec. 13: The Christmas Train by Thomas S. Monson. While this might veer a tiny bit out of the toddler-friendly category, I don't think it will be a problem because of its large, colorful illustrations (and the toy trains!).
Dec 14: The Story of the Nutcracker Ballet. While there are versions I like much better (particularly in the artwork category), we are choosing the one by Deborah Hautzig and illustrated by Diana Goode because it's shorter, and well, I already have it. And that art's not bad! It's just not as amazing as others I've seen. He's already loving Grandma's nutcrackers this season, so I want to give it some context.
Dec. 15: The Polar Express. Another oldie-but-goodie.
Dec. 16: This is the Star, by Joyce Dunbar and Gary Blythe. A great read-aloud with cumulative rhyme that's soothing to listen to. "This is the angel shining bright, who came to the shepherds watching by night, who saw the star in the sky." By the end there's a lot of text per page, with starker, darker art, so choose it on a good-attention-span kind of night. ;)
Dec. 17: Secrets of Winter. This is the only book on my list that's not a Christmas book, and is instead a winter book. But the fun of this one is that it is a "shine-a-light" book! You use a flashlight behind the page to reveal hidden pictures: rabbits in a snowbank, squirrels in a hollow tree, etc. Tommy loves playing with flashlights with Grandpa, and he loves the Seashore edition of this book we have, so I know it's going to be a hit.
Dec. 18: Christmas in the Manger, by Felicia Bond. Disclaimer: I haven't read this one yet, I'm ordering it. But every review, every picture, and everyone I know who has read it gives it two thumbs up. I'm looking forward to checking it out!
Dec. 19: A Present for Piglet. Just like the God Bless Our Christmas, I wouldn't recommend this for anyone else, per se. But my buddy boy LOVES Winnie the Pooh, and will in fact be having a Pooh-themed birthday party on this very day! So we're going with it. ;) If I were less broke, I'd get "Silent Night", the one with the Thomas Kinkaide illustrations, to put in on this night.
These last five are very special to me, enough so that on three or four of them I'm breaking the rules of "toddler-friendliness". I may have to sum up pages or accept that he won't "get" it, but they are MUSTS for my Christmas season with my family, the ones that will be part of our family Christmas traditions forever.
Dec. 21: The Littlest Angel. I thought everyone knew this classic, but I have discovered that many people don't know this one! It's the sweet story of the littlest angel in heaven as he struggles to adapt to heaven, how he gives his most precious gift to the Christ-child, and how his sacrifice is transformed by God into something most wondrous. I don't know if I've ever read this book without crying. In a good way! Go get this book!
Dec. 22: The Night Before Christmas. While it seems counter-intuitive to not be reading this on Christmas Eve, I save Christmas Eve for the most Christ-centered book. But we're still reading this close enough to Christmas Eve to soak in the magic of it!
Dec. 23: I Believe in Santa Claus. A good follow up after The Night Before Christmas. This beautiful book shows the many ways that Santa is a symbol of Jesus Christ. GO GET THIS BOOK, PLEASE. (and this is an exception to my disclaimer about - this one has beautiful, large illustrations and short, simple sentences). I get teary every time I read this book. This is a win for toddlers and kids.
Dec. 24: When Jesus Was Born in Bethlehem, illustrated by Joseph Brickey. It's all directly from scripture, so it's like the traditional reading of Luke 2. But it's BETTER because it includes more scriptures - ones that remind us of the reason Christ came to earth, the annunciation, etc. . . and the artwork is SO BEAUTIFUL. I really feel the Spirit each time we read from this. My Noble family reads this every Christmas Eve after dinner. Here's a couple of my favorites from this book:
Dec. 25: The Tale of Three Trees. Although I know this will go over Tommy's head in most ways, I think the spirit of this book will carry it through. This folktale tells of three trees who fulfill their aspirations in unexpected but remarkable ways - as they become Jesus' manger, boat, and cross. I think this is a great one for Christmas Day because it helps us look beyond just the manger and on to the purposes of Christ's coming. Can't go a Christmas season without this special book.
So those are our 25 Books of Christmas, toddlerized! Next year or the year after, I will re-work this list to include many of MY favorite titles that I had to leave off since he's so little! Classics like The Christmas Candle, or new favorites like Angela and the Baby Jesus. I can't wait to introduce to Tommy to some of those, once his attention span and interest have reached their level!
I'm always on the lookout for new children's books, especially Christmas. So if you have any recommendations, send 'em my way!
Monday, November 16, 2015
Growing, Learning, and Giving Thanks
My blog stands as Exhibit A in the showcase, "Evidence that People Never Change". Well, I suppose they do. That's the idea. And yet since elementary school, my journals are riddled with gaping holes of time followed by apologetic re-introductions as I explain why I haven't written in so long and how I'm going to do better at consistently writing. This blog is no different. Hello again, folks! So I'll skip the excuses and jump right into a bit of catch-up!
Chris is growing and learning. His first year of teaching is underway! He got off to a great start at one of the "pillar" schools of Mesa, where he loves the kids and the kids love him. He's definitely got a lot to do and a lot to learn, but he's pushing through the curve balls and loving his work. He's also being helped and supported by a great parent system over there. The holidays (an EXTRA crazy time for musicians) are bearing down on him, and he(we) are taking the deep breath before the plunge. I am so proud of him for all he is doing. I am also grateful for how he rises in the wee hours of the morning to walk to the bus, how he comes home from a busy school day and still jumps in to rescue me and Tommy from each other at the end of our long days, and how cheerfully he works at both his day job and "home job".
Tommy is growing and learning. Can I say again just how much I love this age? This age is all about exploration, hugs, tantrums, park days, Grandma's house, Pooh Bear, Woody and Buzz, singing to oneself, the beginnings of make believe, animal crackers, making messes, getting into power plays, doggies, and kitties. He's the freakin' best, even when it's the worst. His current favorite movies are Toy Story 2 and Mary Poppins. His favorite songs are "The Wheels on the Bus" and "Jingle Bells" (we get a head start on the Christmas season in these parts). Tommy is good at matching pitch and really good at having meltdowns when things don't go exactly his way in a play date. His favorite treat is M&Ms. He's quite the articulate little talker (or maybe it's just my mom brain knowing what he's saying), and has a few daily phrases I hope to remember when he's older: "Oh yiiiiehhhsss" ("oh yes" high to low, when he's particularly pleased about what he's being offered); "move please" ("get out of my way, or off the couch, or go in another room so I can do something naughty"); "Superalissandlena" (a weird conglomeration of supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and Alex and Lena from Signing Time); "two, three, eight, nine!" (his way of counting without thinking about it first, and also his way of saying he wants a lot of something). At the store the other day, as he asked if we were all done and when I said, "two or three more things", he responded enthusiastically in higher and higher pitches, "two, three, eight, nine M&Ms! Oh, danchou, mama! danchou!" ("Thank you!") Needless to say, we got some M&Ms.
I am growing and learning too. I'm growing as a full-time mom, having taken a semester off from my kids' groups while Chris gets settled in to his first year of teaching. I'm still working on my anxiety and depression (with some success) and on my sugar addiction (without much success). It's hard. I'm trying to stop arguing with, and crying for, the world. It's hard. I'm working on channeling my sensitivities and my stress into better avenues. I'm working on learning to be creative and frugal with our finances, which have definitely taken a hard hit from losing my paycheck and adding on health insurance and other "real adult" bills. I've been exercising consistently for, like, the third time in my life! I'm working on not hating myself when I don't succeed in the above areas. I'm learning to redefine what success means in my head. I'm trying to establish meaningful, dynamic relationships with Heavenly Father (which has always come naturally for me), and Jesus Christ (which has always required a bit more effort for some reason). And I'm gratefully growing where I'm planted in this lovely house, this nice ward, this beautiful time of year, and with my sweet boys.
In this month of Thanksgiving, I truly have been giving thanks - for the tender mercies from Heavenly Father that have rescued us each time I think I cannot make it another day, financially or emotionally. For my sweet husband who is my rock and my motor when the going gets tough. For my Tommy who brings laughter and love to my life. For my mother for being my best friend, a source of consolation and encouragement. For anonymous and not-so-anonymous angels. For friends old and new. For family born into and married into. For the remembrance that God has a plan for all of us, even when there is so much pain, suffering, evil, and misunderstanding in the world. For the kindness and courage that all of us are capable of. And for the remembrance that Jesus Christ is a SAVIOR, THE Savior, in our simplest struggles and our heaviest sins and trials. Happy Thanksgiving.
And now, my beloved brethren, I desire that ye should remember these things, and that ye . . . contend no more against the Holy Ghost, but that ye receive it, and take upon you the name of Christ; that ye humble yourselves even to the dust, and worship God, in whatsoever place ye may be in, in spirit and in truth; and that ye live in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which he doth bestow upon you." - Alma 34:37-38
Chris is growing and learning. His first year of teaching is underway! He got off to a great start at one of the "pillar" schools of Mesa, where he loves the kids and the kids love him. He's definitely got a lot to do and a lot to learn, but he's pushing through the curve balls and loving his work. He's also being helped and supported by a great parent system over there. The holidays (an EXTRA crazy time for musicians) are bearing down on him, and he(we) are taking the deep breath before the plunge. I am so proud of him for all he is doing. I am also grateful for how he rises in the wee hours of the morning to walk to the bus, how he comes home from a busy school day and still jumps in to rescue me and Tommy from each other at the end of our long days, and how cheerfully he works at both his day job and "home job".
Tommy is growing and learning. Can I say again just how much I love this age? This age is all about exploration, hugs, tantrums, park days, Grandma's house, Pooh Bear, Woody and Buzz, singing to oneself, the beginnings of make believe, animal crackers, making messes, getting into power plays, doggies, and kitties. He's the freakin' best, even when it's the worst. His current favorite movies are Toy Story 2 and Mary Poppins. His favorite songs are "The Wheels on the Bus" and "Jingle Bells" (we get a head start on the Christmas season in these parts). Tommy is good at matching pitch and really good at having meltdowns when things don't go exactly his way in a play date. His favorite treat is M&Ms. He's quite the articulate little talker (or maybe it's just my mom brain knowing what he's saying), and has a few daily phrases I hope to remember when he's older: "Oh yiiiiehhhsss" ("oh yes" high to low, when he's particularly pleased about what he's being offered); "move please" ("get out of my way, or off the couch, or go in another room so I can do something naughty"); "Superalissandlena" (a weird conglomeration of supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and Alex and Lena from Signing Time); "two, three, eight, nine!" (his way of counting without thinking about it first, and also his way of saying he wants a lot of something). At the store the other day, as he asked if we were all done and when I said, "two or three more things", he responded enthusiastically in higher and higher pitches, "two, three, eight, nine M&Ms! Oh, danchou, mama! danchou!" ("Thank you!") Needless to say, we got some M&Ms.
I am growing and learning too. I'm growing as a full-time mom, having taken a semester off from my kids' groups while Chris gets settled in to his first year of teaching. I'm still working on my anxiety and depression (with some success) and on my sugar addiction (without much success). It's hard. I'm trying to stop arguing with, and crying for, the world. It's hard. I'm working on channeling my sensitivities and my stress into better avenues. I'm working on learning to be creative and frugal with our finances, which have definitely taken a hard hit from losing my paycheck and adding on health insurance and other "real adult" bills. I've been exercising consistently for, like, the third time in my life! I'm working on not hating myself when I don't succeed in the above areas. I'm learning to redefine what success means in my head. I'm trying to establish meaningful, dynamic relationships with Heavenly Father (which has always come naturally for me), and Jesus Christ (which has always required a bit more effort for some reason). And I'm gratefully growing where I'm planted in this lovely house, this nice ward, this beautiful time of year, and with my sweet boys.
In this month of Thanksgiving, I truly have been giving thanks - for the tender mercies from Heavenly Father that have rescued us each time I think I cannot make it another day, financially or emotionally. For my sweet husband who is my rock and my motor when the going gets tough. For my Tommy who brings laughter and love to my life. For my mother for being my best friend, a source of consolation and encouragement. For anonymous and not-so-anonymous angels. For friends old and new. For family born into and married into. For the remembrance that God has a plan for all of us, even when there is so much pain, suffering, evil, and misunderstanding in the world. For the kindness and courage that all of us are capable of. And for the remembrance that Jesus Christ is a SAVIOR, THE Savior, in our simplest struggles and our heaviest sins and trials. Happy Thanksgiving.
And now, my beloved brethren, I desire that ye should remember these things, and that ye . . . contend no more against the Holy Ghost, but that ye receive it, and take upon you the name of Christ; that ye humble yourselves even to the dust, and worship God, in whatsoever place ye may be in, in spirit and in truth; and that ye live in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which he doth bestow upon you." - Alma 34:37-38
Friday, June 12, 2015
In Which Aubrey Whines and Then Counts Her Blessings
Hello The Internets. I really just want to whine for a while, and I think my husband has absorbed all the whining on his own, which certainly isn't nice. So here I am. I got scabies last weekend, and it's been the WORST.
I don't care that that's not socially acceptable to announce on a blog. I just wanna vent about it. Don't know how or where I got it, but I know that's what it is since I've had it once before. And it has itched like a *$!#*. I have burned myself with tea tree oil, bleach, scrubbed with borax, taken scalding baths in hydrogen peroxide/borax/tea tree oil multiple times a day, and paid over 60 bucks for six-freaking-ounces of prescription permethrin cream. Ain't nobody got time for all that. Especially me. Right now. And after all that, I'm still covered in festering blistery bumps that are making me miserable. So what's the deal?
Then I read about this thing called Post Scabies Syndrome. Which is basically all the same reactions in your body as scabies, except as a RESULT of the scabies treatment rather than as a result of the scabies. So how, I ask you, am I supposed to tell if I killed all the little mother-buggers or if it's a reaction to the insecticide treatment?? Because I'd really like to snuggle my son again! And stop having to boil everything I touch. And you know, not infect the Magic Music Kidz I'll be working with come Monday. Although really, I can't imagine that the little devils have survived the permethrin cream (and my rigorous routine of burning myself with water and chemicals on a daily basis). My hands and feet actually have larger burn areas than blister areas, and they are killing me! I can't even lay them out flat or curl them up without pain. And yet I keep waking up with itches in the night. UGGGGGGGH.
I know there are worse things out there that people have to deal with. But right now, I'm feeling lonely and dirty and itchy and burned and with a to-do list getting longer than I can keep up with because of taking care of this. So I'd like to have my whine. So there!
Now that I've had it, I'm feeling guilty because I'm supposed to be writing about my joys. And because I always end my posts with a scripture or uplifting quote, and how am I supposed to uphold that tradition after I just spent a whole post literally doing nothing but whine? Hm.
I think I shall balance it out a bit by counting some of my most recent things to be thankful for.
1. Getting scabies has caused me to scrub my house from top to bottom, and it really needed it. It's been hard to keep the house clean after a move when you're still unpacking, and I've never been the cleanest person. Maybe this was what I needed to get back to square one and to make some changes in my home habits?
2. I've gotten out of a LOT of diaper changing lately due to the scabies. ;)
3. Chris. Chris is ALWAYS on my list of things to be thankful for. And as usual he is pulling me along, encouraging me, and helping me lift my own loads a bit.
4. Tommy, who is also always on my list of things to be thankful for. It's been hard for him and for me to not be able to be close this week, but we have found other ways to have fun together. And well, yes, watch more movies than usual, too.
5. Our new refrigerator. It might seem random amidst everything else on this list, but it's been such a blessing - and a game changer! Our other fridge ruined produce and had uneven warm and cool spots, and because of that I gave up on even trying to eat healthy or buy healthy options. With the help of some earthly angels, we got ourselves a new fridge! And now it's stocked full of fruits and veggies, and I am loving it so much!
Okay, I am feeling better and I think I can end on that note. May your weekend be blessing-filled and scabies-free!
I don't care that that's not socially acceptable to announce on a blog. I just wanna vent about it. Don't know how or where I got it, but I know that's what it is since I've had it once before. And it has itched like a *$!#*. I have burned myself with tea tree oil, bleach, scrubbed with borax, taken scalding baths in hydrogen peroxide/borax/tea tree oil multiple times a day, and paid over 60 bucks for six-freaking-ounces of prescription permethrin cream. Ain't nobody got time for all that. Especially me. Right now. And after all that, I'm still covered in festering blistery bumps that are making me miserable. So what's the deal?
Then I read about this thing called Post Scabies Syndrome. Which is basically all the same reactions in your body as scabies, except as a RESULT of the scabies treatment rather than as a result of the scabies. So how, I ask you, am I supposed to tell if I killed all the little mother-buggers or if it's a reaction to the insecticide treatment?? Because I'd really like to snuggle my son again! And stop having to boil everything I touch. And you know, not infect the Magic Music Kidz I'll be working with come Monday. Although really, I can't imagine that the little devils have survived the permethrin cream (and my rigorous routine of burning myself with water and chemicals on a daily basis). My hands and feet actually have larger burn areas than blister areas, and they are killing me! I can't even lay them out flat or curl them up without pain. And yet I keep waking up with itches in the night. UGGGGGGGH.
I know there are worse things out there that people have to deal with. But right now, I'm feeling lonely and dirty and itchy and burned and with a to-do list getting longer than I can keep up with because of taking care of this. So I'd like to have my whine. So there!
Now that I've had it, I'm feeling guilty because I'm supposed to be writing about my joys. And because I always end my posts with a scripture or uplifting quote, and how am I supposed to uphold that tradition after I just spent a whole post literally doing nothing but whine? Hm.
I think I shall balance it out a bit by counting some of my most recent things to be thankful for.
1. Getting scabies has caused me to scrub my house from top to bottom, and it really needed it. It's been hard to keep the house clean after a move when you're still unpacking, and I've never been the cleanest person. Maybe this was what I needed to get back to square one and to make some changes in my home habits?
2. I've gotten out of a LOT of diaper changing lately due to the scabies. ;)
3. Chris. Chris is ALWAYS on my list of things to be thankful for. And as usual he is pulling me along, encouraging me, and helping me lift my own loads a bit.
4. Tommy, who is also always on my list of things to be thankful for. It's been hard for him and for me to not be able to be close this week, but we have found other ways to have fun together. And well, yes, watch more movies than usual, too.
5. Our new refrigerator. It might seem random amidst everything else on this list, but it's been such a blessing - and a game changer! Our other fridge ruined produce and had uneven warm and cool spots, and because of that I gave up on even trying to eat healthy or buy healthy options. With the help of some earthly angels, we got ourselves a new fridge! And now it's stocked full of fruits and veggies, and I am loving it so much!
Okay, I am feeling better and I think I can end on that note. May your weekend be blessing-filled and scabies-free!
"Remembering mine affliction and my misery . . . My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me. This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness." - Lamentations 3:19-23
Thursday, April 16, 2015
WE ARE MOVING!
We are moving! We thought it best to keep it under wraps until it was a for-sure thing, and now with only one week to go, it had better be for sure, right? ;)
We've been looking to move out from our in-laws as soon as we could afford to. But we were looking for a rental house on an apartment budget, and hadn't found anything that both felt right AND was affordable. Aside from that, my parents (especially my mother) had been on the hunt for a "flipping" house for a while now, and were hoping for it to be one that we could move into. Admittedly, this new house was not a perfect picture of what my mom was visualizing. But she and my dad have followed wisdom and promptings step by step, and this is where we have ended up. Interestingly, although the owners received higher offers, they accepted my parents' offer over those higher offers. So that certainly feels like a sign and a blessing to me!
And to be honest? I'm just crazy about the house! Maybe it's because I've been longing to be in my own home for years now. Maybe it's because in our almost five years of marriage we've lived in four places and have made mini-moves every summer, and the idea of settling for a while is appealing. Maybe it's because I have been living at my in-laws for almost a year now, and am excited to unpack all my stuff that's been in storage for a year (oh mini-library, how I've missed thee!). I'm excited to play my own music and make my own noise without bugging neighbors and family (or being bugged by anyone else). I'm happy to finally get to structure Tommy's nap and bedtime based on my own timetable (haha, like that's actually going to happen, but I can try!). I'm feeling driven to start my own garden. Basically, if the house were dark purple and covered in polka dots, I'd still be happy about this move. And besides, even if it's not our favorite on the outside, I think it's pretty cute on the inside! It's small but open, and was well-taken-care-of around the edges. I am looking forward to settling in and making it a lovely home.
I'm aware that I'm going to get a rude awakening to my rosy image of living in a home of our own. We've been blessed (and spoiled) by the incredible generosity of my in-laws, and parents. We're going to be shocked at paying utilities on a house in the Arizona summer, and we're going to miss being able to use someone else' washer and dryer. But that's what, you know, independent adults do - they pay their own bills and take care of their own needs. And I'm really happy that we are in a place to start standing on our own feet. Chris is finally working as a sub for MPS, and we got his first paycheck today. Gainful employment looks good on him. ;)
Although, let's be real, our "standing on our own feet" isn't even that - we are renting from my parents at a great rate, and they made the decision to sacrifice to buy the house with us in mind. They are not putting us through the fees, or the month of rent in advance, or other ways they could be charging us. So yeah, we are feeling very grateful.
The move will probably be a gradual one, due to the busyness of our end-of-school-year schedules (I'm feeling exceptionally overwhelmed in addition to exceptionally blessed!). But we will be getting a truck on Saturday morning the 25th and are hoping to get as much of the move done as possible on that day. We be moving out towards Power and University.
Oh, and if anyone is still reading this and wants to, I dunno, join the Elders Quorum and help us move or sumthin', we'd be super grateful. There will be donuts and juice! :)
"We have paused on some plateaus long enough. Let us resume our journey forward and upward." - President Spencer W. Kimball, April 1979 Conference
We've been looking to move out from our in-laws as soon as we could afford to. But we were looking for a rental house on an apartment budget, and hadn't found anything that both felt right AND was affordable. Aside from that, my parents (especially my mother) had been on the hunt for a "flipping" house for a while now, and were hoping for it to be one that we could move into. Admittedly, this new house was not a perfect picture of what my mom was visualizing. But she and my dad have followed wisdom and promptings step by step, and this is where we have ended up. Interestingly, although the owners received higher offers, they accepted my parents' offer over those higher offers. So that certainly feels like a sign and a blessing to me!
And to be honest? I'm just crazy about the house! Maybe it's because I've been longing to be in my own home for years now. Maybe it's because in our almost five years of marriage we've lived in four places and have made mini-moves every summer, and the idea of settling for a while is appealing. Maybe it's because I have been living at my in-laws for almost a year now, and am excited to unpack all my stuff that's been in storage for a year (oh mini-library, how I've missed thee!). I'm excited to play my own music and make my own noise without bugging neighbors and family (or being bugged by anyone else). I'm happy to finally get to structure Tommy's nap and bedtime based on my own timetable (haha, like that's actually going to happen, but I can try!). I'm feeling driven to start my own garden. Basically, if the house were dark purple and covered in polka dots, I'd still be happy about this move. And besides, even if it's not our favorite on the outside, I think it's pretty cute on the inside! It's small but open, and was well-taken-care-of around the edges. I am looking forward to settling in and making it a lovely home.
I'm aware that I'm going to get a rude awakening to my rosy image of living in a home of our own. We've been blessed (and spoiled) by the incredible generosity of my in-laws, and parents. We're going to be shocked at paying utilities on a house in the Arizona summer, and we're going to miss being able to use someone else' washer and dryer. But that's what, you know, independent adults do - they pay their own bills and take care of their own needs. And I'm really happy that we are in a place to start standing on our own feet. Chris is finally working as a sub for MPS, and we got his first paycheck today. Gainful employment looks good on him. ;)
Although, let's be real, our "standing on our own feet" isn't even that - we are renting from my parents at a great rate, and they made the decision to sacrifice to buy the house with us in mind. They are not putting us through the fees, or the month of rent in advance, or other ways they could be charging us. So yeah, we are feeling very grateful.
The move will probably be a gradual one, due to the busyness of our end-of-school-year schedules (I'm feeling exceptionally overwhelmed in addition to exceptionally blessed!). But we will be getting a truck on Saturday morning the 25th and are hoping to get as much of the move done as possible on that day. We be moving out towards Power and University.
Oh, and if anyone is still reading this and wants to, I dunno, join the Elders Quorum and help us move or sumthin', we'd be super grateful. There will be donuts and juice! :)
"We have paused on some plateaus long enough. Let us resume our journey forward and upward." - President Spencer W. Kimball, April 1979 Conference
Thursday, April 2, 2015
Thoughts on Making a Christmas Season Out of Easter
Happy Maundy Thursday, friends. It's been a very meaningful Holy Week for us as we experience each day of the Savior's final week, and as we look toward Easter Sunday (and General Conference).
Originally, I had all kinds of awesome ideas about how to celebrate Easter in a way that was joyful and Christ-centered. I wanted to do a Passover meal this Friday and did tons of research in preparation. I was going to make Resurrection Rolls and Resurrection Eggs and Jesus-themed Easter baskets and do all kinds of service projects and read all kinds of books and - well, you get the idea.
But with how crazy our life has been (more on that in another post), I had to let go of my Pinterest-inspired ideals. I don't even think we're going to do Easter egg decorating this year. But it has nonetheless been a joyful and Christ-centered Easter season, mainly due to two simple changes. These changes are inspired by the feeling I get at Christmastime. What makes Christmas feel so good to me that I want it all year round? Because I want to have that feeling for Easter, too! For me,the top two things that make the season are:
1. The music.
2. The gratitude/giving back - in other words, service.
Think about it. For many of us at Christmastime, both of these things are what provide the Warm'n'Fuzzies to our hearts throughout the season, even more than the trappings. And the same is true of Easter.
1. The Music!
So for music, I put together a few different playlists on YouTube - one for the spring/Easter season, one for Holy Week, and one for Easter Morn - and have been playing them around the house for several weeks now. Some of it is the Bible videos made by the LDS Church. Some of it is those great Mormon Tabernacle Choir ones with the video footage inter-cut with the choir singing - my little guy loves watching the animals, the scenery, and the Bible reenactment footage that accompanies each music video.
No creature is so lowly,
No sinner so depraved,
But feels thy presence holy
And thru thy love is saved.
Tho craven friends betray thee,
They feel thy love's embrace;
The very foes who slay thee
Have access to thy grace.
I cannot add more than an "amen" to such transcendent, eloquent truth. I'm so grateful for Jesus Christ and His Atonement. And this Easter I'm grateful for the gift of music to help teach us about the Savior, and to use as a tool to testify to ourselves and others.
2. The Service
Sometimes the thought of service overwhelms me. More often than not, actually. One of my biggest struggles in life is just being too darn tired to move my feet. That sounds funny, but it isn't at all. I will often cry when I wake up in the morning because the tiredness feels likes it's going to drown me. I wake up exhausted, I spend my day in alternating spurts of feel-good adrenaline and numbing exhaustion, and I go to bed completely drained. Ever since pregnancy I cannot remember NOT being tired. The exhaustion is perhaps the biggest piece in the spiral of depression, anxiety, and unhealthy eating habits. So when I hear talks about giving more service, more time, and more energy, just the thought of it makes my system shut down. I've only got about 3 hours of "give-worthy" energy in any given day, and I "NEED" that time, doesn't anyone understand that?! I think inwardly. Selfish, I know.
Well, I am slowly learning that it is possible to serve and be tired and still survive. And that service feels good, even when it feels tiring. And there is perhaps no greater way to honor the Savior during the Easter season than to serve others with love. "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me", the Savior taught. With that in mind, we have tried to add daily acts of service to the past three weeks. The kinds of service I/we have given have been very small things. But they have been conscious, daily, out of my ordinary rhythm, and done in love.
Although I'm sure that all those other plans I had will still enhance Easters to come, making these two changes was, for now, the best way to bring the Spirit into our homes this Easter season.
I know this is just a personal blog, read by my mother and my husband more than by anyone else. And yet I cannot pass by this easy opportunity to bear testimony of our Savior. Jesus Christ lives! Because He lives, the grave does not hold victory over our relationships. There is life after death. And Because He so loved (and loves), sin does not hold victory over our hearts, and we can find everlasting life. Families can be eternal. Pain will be replaced with peace and joy. We can return to a happiness we don't even remember - the happiness we held in the presence of our Heavenly Father and Mother. I think this Easter, I am more than ever appreciating that through the Atonement of Christ, we will find those family relationships with our Heavenly Parents, and hold them eternally; and that we can also keep our own families eternally in the hereafter. I wish I had a profound way to end that testimony, but I guess the profound thing is that a testimony doesn't end. It keeps growing as we grow in light and truth, until we reach the perfect day and we see Him as He is. For now, all I can do is feel grateful.
Well, I am slowly learning that it is possible to serve and be tired and still survive. And that service feels good, even when it feels tiring. And there is perhaps no greater way to honor the Savior during the Easter season than to serve others with love. "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me", the Savior taught. With that in mind, we have tried to add daily acts of service to the past three weeks. The kinds of service I/we have given have been very small things. But they have been conscious, daily, out of my ordinary rhythm, and done in love.
Although I'm sure that all those other plans I had will still enhance Easters to come, making these two changes was, for now, the best way to bring the Spirit into our homes this Easter season.
I know this is just a personal blog, read by my mother and my husband more than by anyone else. And yet I cannot pass by this easy opportunity to bear testimony of our Savior. Jesus Christ lives! Because He lives, the grave does not hold victory over our relationships. There is life after death. And Because He so loved (and loves), sin does not hold victory over our hearts, and we can find everlasting life. Families can be eternal. Pain will be replaced with peace and joy. We can return to a happiness we don't even remember - the happiness we held in the presence of our Heavenly Father and Mother. I think this Easter, I am more than ever appreciating that through the Atonement of Christ, we will find those family relationships with our Heavenly Parents, and hold them eternally; and that we can also keep our own families eternally in the hereafter. I wish I had a profound way to end that testimony, but I guess the profound thing is that a testimony doesn't end. It keeps growing as we grow in light and truth, until we reach the perfect day and we see Him as He is. For now, all I can do is feel grateful.
"O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." - 1 Corinthian 15:55-57
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